Tampa Bay Online has published the annual list of Dumbest Criminals. The list, which was published December 29, includes a man arrested for stealing boa constrictors, a man who stuffed live lobsters down his cargo shorts, and a bank robber who provided the teller with two forms of identification. A summary of the top ten is:
10. A man arrested in Spain June 9 allegedly curled himself up in a large suitcase that was placed in an airport bus cargo bay and sneaked out to steal from other people's luggage. http://tbo.ly/sayQ3Z9
We have a quadruple tie for No. 9, as four would-be crooks tried to use their pants to stash their booty … well, more booty,
First, in February, police said an Avon Park man was found with two packages of ground beef, a container of chili powder and cumin, two containers of whipped cream and a bag of ground coffee that had been stashed in his trousers. http://tbo.ly/tOXzxz
Then, in August, Arizona man was caught trying to steal several baby albino boa constrictors at a pet store by stuffing them down his pants. http://tbo.ly/pO2mqI
In September, an apparently brave man in southern Mississippi tried to walk out of a grocery store without paying for food items he'd stuffed into his cargo shorts - including live lobsters. http://tbo.ly/qgZCKw
And finally, a Brazilian man pleaded guilty in September to trying to smuggle python and tortoise babies in his pants. http://tbo.ly/njWFgd
8. What would you think if a man dressed up like Gumby walked in and told you he was robbing you? When this happened to a Southern California convenience store clerk Sept. 5, he thought it was a joke. Gumby then tried to prove it was for real by producing a gun, but the gloves on his costume foiled him. After dropping some change, Gumby fled, empty handed. http://tbo.ly/pcV0Vr7.
7. On Aug. 24, Ohio police cracked the case of the missing police memorial flags. It turned out a squirrel had been stealing them and making a nest. http://tbo.ly/mPnzQ16
6. A southeastern Pennsylvania woman was accused June 28 of assaulting her 9-year-old grandson and blasting him in the face with a garden hose because he ate too much bacon. http://tbo.ly/vtJAjl5
5. Authorities say on Oct. 6, a North Carolina woman mistakenly texted a deputy to sell drugs. http://tbo.ly/pKiwPP4.
4. On April 27, a man running out of a Lake Wales convenience store with two cases of beer tripped on his baggy jeans. The scene was captured on video, and a suspect was likewise captured four months later. http://tbo.ly/pWAInR
3. Authorities in Montana say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a Jan. 11 traffic stop — but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted. http://tbo.ly/ugpwds
2. A bank robber was asked by a Dallas teller to provide two forms of identification before she could give him money. Fortunately, he was carrying some. Fortunately for police, that is. http://tbo.ly/vytocP
1. Police in Pennsylvania say they stopped a car May 13 with four people and a bag of marijuana, but they didn't know who it belonged to. That is, until one of the suspects asked, "Can I have my weed back?" http://tbo.ly/tq4hyp